Easter Dinner: Muskie With a Side of Crazy

I realize most people have crazy families. Or at least, they think their families are crazy, when in reality, if they spent even an hour at my house, they would go home crying to their completely normal mummies and daddies.

Case in Point: Easter 2010.
Sunday's schedule went a bit like this:

5:45 am--Wake up for Sunrise Service
6:20 am--Arrive at park and lug around heavy chairs
6:30 am--Drink coffee while wrapped in blanket at service
7:30 am--Eat continental breakfast. Finish. Eat more. Drink more coffee.
9:00 am--Church. Feel shaky from coffee overdose.
11:30 am--Nap time.
11:50 am--Wake up from excessive kitchen noise from parents. Go out and shoot daggers at them with my eyes.
11:52 am--Eat. Clang dishes around angrily from being woken up.
12:30 pm--Go back to sleep.
1:00 pm--Wake up. Eat more.
2:30 pm--Start listening to 102.1 KNCI, the classical music station online. Turn it ALL the way up and distract family from reading newspaper when the theme song to "The Magnificent Seven" comes on.
2:31 pm--Begin searching Western theme songs on YouTube for the next half hour with my family. Dancing and hopping and off-key singing ensues.
3:45 pm--Dinner with friends at Spaghetti Factory. Sister and I loudly discuss ultimate murder plan. Effectively weird out our waitress. Leave with all our silverware stabbed in the loaf of bread.
5:00 pm--Go home to play games. (I may mention that this family that is with us is nearly as insane as my family).
5:30 pm--Dye eggs (pictures to follow in future blog).
6:00 pm--Get killed in Mafia as an act of revenge. Like I said then...THIS ISN'T OVER.
9:00 pm--Eat more candy.
10:00 pm--Complain that it isn't late enough to go to sleep yet.
10:15 pm--Go to sleep.

Pretty typical day.
The following conversation occurred sometime after the Western hi-jinx and before dinner.
Just imagine the respective theme songs from "Gunsmoke" and "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" playing in the background...

The Sister's Boyfriend casually mentions being scared of sharks...

Mom: The girls are scared of sharks in lakes too.
Kelly: There are such things as freshwater sharks!
Mom: But they don’t attack!
Kelly: Yeah they DO! "Jaws" was based on Bull Shark attacks in freshwater rivers!
Dad: Yeah but it was a Great White.
Kelly: No! They were Bull Sharks! "Jaws" was based on Bull Sharks that attacked and killed people in freshwater rivers in New Jersey! I saw it on the Discovery or History Channel or something. That means it's reliable.
Dad: Yeah but… it was a Great White.
Mom: No...in lakes, it’s the muskie you gotta look out for.
Sister: Muskie?! What! Who has ever died from a muskie attack? You think muskie will attack and kill you?
Mom: They won’t but they might mistake your toe for something! And nibble on them. Kelly, look it up.
Kelly: Did you just say they nibble at your toes?
Mom: Yeah. I did.
Sister: Oh yeah mom? Have they nibbled at YOUR toes?
Mom: No. But they like to go for the phalanges.
Sister: So they just think “Hmm, I’m going to go for these roots attached to this branch.”
Dad: They have razor sharp teeth!
Annnnnd scene.

I think we learned a valuable lesson from this: My family says the word "Yeah" way more than is appropriate.

Muskie:
(I'm never going swimming again. Anywhere. Ever.)














Muskie Bite:
(This is just too disgusting for the weak of heart and stomach to embed)
Chomp