If You're Creepy and You Know It Raise Your Hand

Ahhh Spring. When a young man's character turns to creepy.

They hoot and holler.
They bark and call...er.

These young caterpillars emerge from Winter hibernation in their new form.
Worms.
Creepy, crawly, icky worms that I would like to squash on the street corners they hang out on.

In distaste for these creatures, I have compiled a list of my favorite creepies from the land of Hollywood, each with their own take on creepy.

1. "I will make you my pet"
Crispin Glover as Willard Stiles
I don't think this needs further explanation. Who wants to wake up to this every morning? Although you probably would get fed lots of cheese, which I love...



















2. "I like to grovel and not shower"
Mr. Collins from the A&E Pride & Prejudice mini-series
Seen below in his signature shushing move:













"Shuuuussshhh, Mr. Collins."

3. "I don't mind making human sacrifices while playing the ukulele in tulip fields"
Tiny Tim

























"Oops, did I just kill the person whose grave I'm now standing on? Tee-hee! *twang twang*"

4. "I love my mother. Oh, and I'll kill you."
Norman Bates from "Psycho"
The real issue I have with Norman isn't the fact that he kills people. This guy has serious mother issues! I mean he takes "Momma's Boy" to a whole new level! Poor Norman. It's not his fault his mother coddled him as a child.




















I don't find this owl creepy. Just charmingly bizarre.

5. "All of my thoughts, actions, and orifices are dirty"
Pick any character any of these guys have ever played in any movie.
Except Paul Rudd. I find myself attracted to his nerdy roles.
Oh shut up.















"We're all thinking dirty thoughts...rawrrr..."

6. "I like to slither around and be overly effeminate while making awkward comments."
John Corbett as Pastor Dan in "Raising Helen"
or as Ian Miller in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"
or as Lars Hammond in "Serendipity"
or as John Corbett in "Real Life"

The worst part is that as I was looking for pictures, Google suggested "John Corbett shirtless."
Bleh! Seriously?? People seriously want to see this guy shirtless??














"I'm a sexy man of God, and I know it."

7. "No, not now. I'm brooding."
Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen
I realize I'm opening a can of worms with this one, but let me explain.
Book Edward is well-spoken, sweet, and clever.
Movie Edward is awkward, brooding, over-protective, and just plain weird.
I have no desire to ever be your spider monkey.

People really find this attractive?





















"I knew I forgot something when I got dressed this morning! At least I remembered my sexy wristband and hair product. "

My choice out of all of these?
Willard. I've always loved rats. Plus he would feed me cheese. How could that possibly go wrong?