Napuation

I went to a graduation ceremony last night that was 2 1/2 hours long.
That's a long time, folks.
Sitting in a comfy seat in the dark watching "Lord of the Rings" for that long is one thing.
Sitting scrunched together, sweating and getting shushed every time you say something is another.
So as I lay in bed this morning, suffering the aftermath of an intense boredom hangover, I started wondering about who I would like to see speak at graduation.

(Let me be clear. All of the individual graduation events and speakers were wonderful. The combination of all of them in one sitting, however, was just to dang much.)

Han Solo:
He would look super sexy, have excellent one-liners, and probably shoot someone if they got out of line.

Michael Scott:
He would most likely offend someone, be really awkward, and conclude by having the entire audience applaud him off the stage. If we were really lucky, he would crowd surf. Don't forget about his ridiculous outfits, stance on drugs, the free computers he would promise, and "that's what she said" jokes.

Paula Abdul:
Drunk or cracked out. Either one is pretty self-explanatory. Plus all the grads would feel really good about themselves after she was done speaking and applauding them.
Sawyer from "LOST"/Grandpa Munster:
They would give all the grads (and possibly any disruptive audience members) new nicknames and just heckle them. These guys would be far more interesting for the audience than the grads, since it would probably end up being more like a roast.

Cpt. Quint:
He would be interesting as long as he told his shark tales. After that, you could just nap while he droned on and on and on and on and on...

DT: I Like You Better Than My Sister Likes Me

I was debating about which of these posts I wanted to use for Dewey Tuesday, and I ultimately decided that the one below is far more informative.

So I'm currently watching "When in Rome" (Shut up. The Olsen twins and I have a connection that your cynicism can't break), and as the opening credits were rolling, I recognized one of the names. Archie Kao...Archie Kao?...where have I heard that name before?

And in a moment of apostrophe (I think you mean "epiphany"), it came to me.
C.
S.
I.

Yes, Archie Kao is none other than Archie Johnson, Lab Rat.
And this guy was 33 in "When in Rome" when he was supposed to be like 20.
Blew my freaking mind.

He also extraed as Sand Crab #4 in LOST

Speaking of mind altering revelations...
Yesterday, I discovered that Gus from "Psych" is also Sam the Onion Man from "Holes"!!!
And when I told my sister, completely out of breath and glowing, she just nodded her head and said "yeah-I-know" like it was no big deal and I was the biggest idiot for not figuring it out sooner.
That took the wind out of my sails.
Why the heck didn't she tell me sooner??
Oh yeah, because she's evil.

I made a billion sellin' onions, now I'm out to make a trillion. I blew all my first million makin' my hair high as a buildin'.

Well. I'm not as inconsiderate as she is. Which is why I'm sharing with you.
You're welcome.

SuperNerd Has the Shining

The other day at school it was raining really hard and I had 2 hours to kill between classes so I went to the library trying to find something to read, being the SuperNerd that I am. (More about my SuperNerdiness later).

After wandering around for awhile in the fiction section, I wound up amongst the "K" authors. I have a feeling this is due to my subconscious narcissism surrounding the letter that begins my name. Anyway, I saw Stephen King's massive collection (please keep puns to yourself) but ignored it for the simple fact that I'm a big chicken. I meandered around a little bit longer but kept being drawn magnetically back to that same section. Aside from the fact that I felt like I was part of one of his novels (maybe the books come to life and kill the Crazy Cat Ladies in the stacks after first seducing them a la Christine?), I bolstered all my bravery and finally chose The Shining.

Now, I'd heard all about The Shining before, which really is probably the only reason I chose it. My family even went to The Stanley Hotel in Colorado on a road trip back when I was younger and saw the infamous Room #217. Oh and by the way, I had a Stanley Hotel t-shirt, which I want back. I'm sure I've outgrown it by now, but I think I could at least squeeze my torso into it with my arms clamped to my sides.

Before my dad went crazy and tried to kill us.

After he tried to kill us by throwing us over the banister.
(And after looking at these, I'm pretty sure my sister was in on the whole thing. Look at her evil little expression in the first one and then her giggling and trying to choke my mom in the 2nd one. The horror.)

Plus, my sister and I began to channel the hallway twins.

So I was figuring "If I know everything that's going to happen, I can't get too freaked out, right?"
Wrong.
I completely skipped reading the Room #217 scene.
I'm only halfway through and I'm speed-reading everything in hopes that I won't accidentally read something that will scare me (like how I've been these last few months whenever I see the word "LOST" anywhere, since I've yet to start the last season).

So that's where I am on that. I'll keep you updated. I'm sure I'll be up in the middle of the night wide-awake needing something to do to keep my mind off of naked bath tub lady.

On to SuperNerd 101 (i.e. how to be as lame as me).

1. Take a Graphic Novel class
2. Freak out when you can't find a Star Wars swimsuit online. (Stupid misogynistic genre...all that was out there was Leia's bikini flappy thing from "Return of the Jedi").
3. Watch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, extended versions. (And if you're smart, hate on Frodo for being incredibly whiny. Then argue about all the movies' subtleties weeks after you watch them).
4. Get hit on by guys only when you wear your glasses.
5. Spend too much time looking for the Mudflap Girl reading a book bumper sticker.

I'm sure I'll add to this list later. You really can't confine SuperNerdiness to just 5 simple points. It's a lifestyle that takes commitment.