Damn You, Emmys

Today, I will be playing the part of an 80 year old woman, ranting at the world for spoiling all future generations through its LAMENESS.
Yes, I will still be using the word "lame" when I'm 80.

Since the Emmys have decided to pound the final nail in the TV theme song coffin, I'm revolting.
I was initially going to compile my list of best TV themes ever, but that turned out to be too daunting. And once I'd re-watched the Magnum P.I. one I would have been too distracted with Tom Selleck's shortshorts and sexy moustache to continue.

Hence...My favorite theme songs from the 90's (with maybe a little 80's sneaked in):


This show was awesome to begin with. What kid doesn't love a show about other kids who live at camp and never see their parents. I love how the bully is a hardcore red-headed mullet wearer. Yeeps. Look out. Plus, I totally had a crush on Pinsky.



I never watched this show unless I was feeling super BA. That was obviously a bad idea, because this intro still scares the freaking crap out of me. I couldn't even watch it all the way through. YES, ok! I AM afraid of the dark!!!


I always felt incredibly hip and urban when I watched this show opening, with its crazy piano...riffs. Oh gosh. I can't even pretend. I'm incredibly white. But I totally had a crush on Urkel. Don't even try to deny his sex appeal when he became Stefan. I just always imagined him thereafter whipping off his red class, snapping his suspenders, and becoming bad boy Stefan...Oh shut up.


This is the version I remember most. It's kind of like "Friends Jr." for those of us who weren't allowed to watch the actual "Friends." Plus I totally had a crush on Eric, and sometimes Shawn, and on rare occasions, Cory. Eric's oafishness and floppy hair was just so stinking cute. Like a puppy. Which is what I should have been more interested when I was 9.


I. Loved. This. Show. She's probably the reason I dress the way I do now (like I have a serious injury that requires a bandana tourniquet around one leg). I don't remember having a crush on anybody in this show (I probably did) but I do remember when she died her eyebrows orange because she was crushing on an older man whose favorite color was orange. Get it girl.


I'm just going to start with the fact that I crushed on Zack the entire time. I think it's probably because his on-again-off-again gf was named Kelly, and hello, that's my like name, and we're both like sooo totally hot. I even had the wooshy bangs that I could sweep back with my fingers just like she did.


I don't remember watching this show, but I still know the theme song. It has obvious staying power if it can seep into my brain through osmosis.


There were no videos for this one, so I had to settle for only the track. But just imagine her flinging words out of her fingers and kicking things in her super tight black leggings. Or was it a unitard?


This isn't the theme song, but it might as well have been. I especially love Sharon's shovel crotch before she drops it.

Ones I purposely didn't mention due to overexposure (plus, it's my blog so I can do whatever the heck I want):
Step-by-Step
Friends
Full House
Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Anything else that starts with an F. Oh get your minds out of the gutter.

Ones I wanted to include but couldn't find:
Growing Pains. Just let me say, it's G-rowing Pains, not Rowing Pains, like I had originally thought. Until about 3 years ago.
Hey, Dude (Christine Taylor was in this?! WHAT?!)
Doug. All I could find was the lame Disney version.

And a little something to leave you with

I especially love her faux waders.

What shows have I missed?