Kindergarten Lunch

I had to go to work right after church, so I packed myself a lunch.

It made me think about being in kindergarten, Room A-2 with Mrs. Key. Also, my hand-drawn hearts looked nothing like this when I was younger.

I remember the sun shining a lot like that too. Too bright and a little hazy.

I ate all my blueberries this time, though.
Of course not until after I ate my fruit snacks.

On Showering

Confession:
I hate showering. I do it, but I really really hate it. It just seems like such a monumental waste of time (unlike, say, blogging or having a Gilmore Girls marathon).

Don't get grossed out. I do it, and do it often. But I mean come on...who actually likes showering enough that they want to shower on an airplane?

"Designed for single-usage." Pfft. I'm so sure. You know how airplane people are.

Seriously. This isn't a joke. Alert perverse traveling men everywhere.

Dear in-flight shower creator,
You're an idiot.
Love,
Janet

Make Me a Movie

There are few books from my child that I would like to see made into movies, primarily because, well, they would be massacred. But since I've reverted back to my childhood reading level, I've started reading all my old Encyclopedia Brown books again. And honestly, I think they would make an awesome movie.

Now, I don't mean that I want a Nancy Drew sort of movie from a few years back, because frankly, it just wasn't as magical as it should have been.

Encyclopedia Brown would need to have that awesome, untainted 60's vibe. Not all modern and zazzly like they tried to make Nancy Drew. And by the way, Nancy was 18 years old and lived in the 1930's, so what are you doing with 14 year old girls in 2007? I'm so sorry the movie creators tried to fit you in there.
I've obviously been long-harboring this since...ok let's be honest...IT WAS AWFUL. Complete destruction of a classic character. And what is titian-haired Nancy Drew without an accurately plump Bess and athletic George? They made George, Georgie? I just don't...I can't....AUGH.
I'm still waiting for a real Nancy Drew to come out.

But back to my original rant...

Awe...look how cute his little flood pants and sweater are!

The only issue is that they would probably choose some well known child actor to play him and then I would have to revolt.
So, let's get on that, indie director/producer/movie creator that I know is out there somewhere.

On a related note...
Beezus and Ramona? Seriously? Ramona is the biggest beezy in all of children's literature. I would have strangled her and gladly accepted my life sentence in prison just to rid the world of her.

I'm going to make it my personal vendetta to torch all the movie reels when it comes out.

Still on the Farm

Farm Bloggerilla

This was quite possibly one of the worst experiences of my life.
And now I have a bad reputation.
At least I don't have to worry about being attacked by those chickens with their dangerous beaks since they're probably (hopefully) scared of me since I'm totally a murderer now.

My life is NOT turning out the way I wanted.
This is NOT who I wanted to be when I grew up.

This is NOT the rooster I want haunting me in my sleep:

(or this guy, for that matter)

P.s. I searched "rooster ghost" and came up with nothing. Am I really the only one scared of poultrygeists?

Please don't hurt me.

Bang Bang Chop Chop

I'm in the middle of bangs detox.
I periodically go through these phases where I lust for the long grown-out locks of the likes of Kesha (I refuse to use the $. I'm just a rebel like that) and Mischa Barton. I imagine myself blonde, flinging my hair back into the wind, causing boys to fall at my feet in awe and wonder.

Shhh...Don't tell Kelly she'll never look like me.

But then I inevitably fail and chop my bangs off before I even have the chance to morph into someone I'm not and never will be. And oftentimes, I hack them off in a rage of urgent desire, making them all crooked and far too thick.

This time I'm determined. They're grown out to just above my lip (insert mustache joke here).

But I've got the itch.

I keep gazing longingly into the mirror, only half-heartedly enjoying the progress of my bangs grow-out.
I want to cut them.
Badly.
I need to be stopped.
Hopefully the fact that my hands are shaking from withdrawals will deter me from attempting to cut my hair.
At least for now.

Yet Another Thing to Start and Not Finish

I've been lame about blogging.
But here's the point.
I've started a new one with Dana about my house-sitting adventures on the farm.

Out on Fenner Farm

Netflix Will Abduct Your Taste Level

I hate to brag (pfft) but I'm somewhat of a movie aficionado, as Hemingway would say (although in this case, I'm passionate about any mind-melting media rather than bull fights).
So as I pulled up Netflix to see what was new in the Television Show section, I noticed a few things that I feel need to be shared with you.
1. Let me give you a fraction and you guess to what it refers. 19/39
Correct. 19/39 new TV shows recommended for me were "Barney" videos. Another 10 or so were "Bob the Builder." "Dr. Who" and "Bonanza" got thrown in for good measure, because, come on, you've got to be a well-rounded person right?

2. "Ken Burns' The Shakers"
Here's the little blurb about it:
"Acclaimed documentary filmmaker Ken Burns directs this look at the unique religion and the peaceful and productive pastimes the Shakers practice on a daily basis. In this engrossing exploration of a little-known part of American culture, Burns brings to life the history, politics, and dynamic personalities that made the Shaker phenomenon possible -- and that make it symbolic of all that America is and was."

Interesting that summary-writer-guy wrote "practice" in the present tense. He doesn't mention the fact that the Shakers DIED OUT because they believed in celibacy FOR LIFE. I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of productive. Who the heck wrote this summary anyway? Stephen Glass? That person should get paid bank for bolstering the Shakers' reputation up to at least minutely significant. Wait, what's he trying to say by them being "symbolic" of America anyway?

3. "A Program About Unusual Buildings & Other Roadside Stuff"
This one was a real contender. There's a giant swan-shaped building on the cover.

4. Winner: "Where Are All the UFOs?"
I'm currently still watching this one. 21 minutes into it and one woman has already claimed that a government official beat her with a nightstick to keep her from talking about aliens.
Highlight from 1960 film footage:

Interviewee: "They told me that language is no barrier to them anywhere. They can speak any language."
Reporter: "So they told you that in English?
Interviewee: "Yes."
Reporter: "What were their clothes like?"
Interviewee: "The women had a radiant red box-pleated skirt, and a black velvet-appearing blouse, and a black and red tam--or beret-- and the men had clothes very similar to our Greyhound Bus drivers."

Thank you for that insightful fashion update, Joan Rivers.

I won't ruin the rest for you. You just need to watch it.

Plus it's on the History Channel, so...it's gotta be true, right?